| Mario | |
|---|---|
| |
Vital statistics
| |
| Position | Raging Homosexual |
| Age | ~25 |
| Status | Alive |
Physical attributes
| |
| Height | ~5.2" |
| Weight | ~119 lbs |
Mario is arguably the worst character in all of EMB, or Epic Mario Bros. He has appeared in the majority of the episodes, and is often accompanied by his younger brother Luigi who is also a huge faggot. Mario can be extremely arrogant at times, and can be a jerk. But when a problem arises in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario is no help, no matter the situation. He also is seen to possess fire powers, which he accessed from his own anger in the episode Mario's Anger. Mario has also appeared in every Movie and every Mario and Luigi's Boring Adventures episode, which is the worst fucking TV series.
History
Most of Marios early history is unknown, except for the fact that his father fought in the Shane wars. At age 16, Mario ran away from home, deciding to live on the streets. Mario soon met his gay lover, Luigi, while at a homeless shelter getting some pea soup. At first, Luigi was not interested in Mario, but after Mario gave Luigi 6 of his teeth, they soon fell in love. After a while, Luigi offered for Mario to move in with him, which he accepted. They are now gay lovers, married in secret and have anal sex everyday. They call themselves brothers though, as to trick residents of the Mushroom Kingdom into believing that they are siblings and not lovers, as homosexuality is illegal in the Mushroom Kingdom.
In season 6, Mario passes away due to explosive diarrhea caused when Bowser spiked his pasta with a toilet mushroom, his death is mourned by many, including Luigi, Peach and many others. Afterwards, Bowser is captured by the police in his hideout in Iraq. 4 Months later, while awaiting for his sentence from court, Bowser hangs himself in his prison cell. The series ends after this.Personality
Powers
Mario posseses Fire Powers or Anger Powers, which he obtained from becoming extremely angry. In the episode Mario's Anger, Nabbit and Junior are shown shooting ink at Mario's car right before work. They then use a golf club to destroy the car, enraging Mario. Mario grabs an air soft gun and fires at the kids. Nabbit is shot, but the two get away. Luigi tries to help Mario by putting him in a calm, zen like state of mind, but it backfires and Mario's powers are ultimately unlocked. His powers are often utilized in combat, but they see their use mostly in Season V. His powers aren't used much after Season 5.
Trivia
- Mario appeared in every episode up until the Bowser, Junior, and Kamek mini series in Season 2.
- Mario gained his powers after Nabbit and Junior destroyed his car. Luigi attempted to calm him down in a zen world, but it only allowed Mario to finally access his powers. He later storms Junior's house by firing fireballs in all directions.
- Mario is actually the first shown character in the entire series, appearing seconds before Luigi.
- While Luigi was presumably the main character of the first movie, Mario takes the spotlight for the second.
- Mario owns a mansion from the money he got from his adventures.
- Mario is one of the few celebrities in the Mushroom Kingdom, though his fame has decreased over the years.